A 23 year old heartbroken woman who turned to Reddit for advice after
sleeping with her best friend of ten years didn't expect the type of
responses she got from the social media site. She said her bestfriend
fled her house saying 'I can't do this' after they hooked up.
The woman, who did not give her name gave intimate details about her
relationship with the said best friend named Paul, also 23. She said:
'Paul and I have been best friends for years. Throughout our friendship, we've flirted, but he's always been in serious relationships with someone else. I've been his shoulder to cry on throughout it all.
'Our friendship has always been strictly platonic with moments of slip-ups.'
She talked about how he had been in several dysfunctional relationships
with controlling partners, saying that she had always been there for him
after his breakups.
Adding:
'I was his support system. We grew very close over the next few months. We had history of cuddling and holding hands, but nothing progressed beyond that.
One night, he came over to watch a movie and he looked me in the eyes. He leaned in to kiss me when he stopped and basically ran out of my house saying 'I can't do this. It will ruin everything between us.'
He didn't speak to me for a week and got back with his girlfriend thereafter. I told him in person I couldn't do it anymore and I felt used. He responded 'Okay' and went on his marry way.He didn't even care and I was crushed.
She said she managed to rekindle her friendship with Paul but Paul had
found another girlfriend who was studying overseas. She said he flirted
with her but their relationship remained platonic until another one of
Paul's relationship ended again.
She wrote:
'We ended up getting drunk with some of our friends and he came to spend the night at my place.
'When we got into the bed, he grabbed me and we started making out. He told me he had always had feelings for me and he likes me (...) Well, he kept pushing sex and we ended up sleeping together. When I went to fall asleep, he grabbed me and said out of all things, he would miss me in his arms.'
'He called me the next day and acted like nothing happened. He said he was just drunk and horny, but now that the sexual tension was out of the way, we could go back to being just friends. He said he doesn't remember most of the night.'
She said: 'The cats out of the bag. It's going to be very hard to see him just as a friend now that we know there's this between us.'
After reading the story Reddit users weighed in to share their thoughts,
and most posters advised the young woman to end her friendship with
Paul permanently. Some of the comments:
Others really didn't mince their words. Theborogrove wrote: 'HE IS MIND******** YOU. He is NOT your friend'
Gonzoimperial said: 'You're his safety girl. He's going to keep doing
this until he's 35 and then he might settle for you. Please don't do
this.'
Others really didn't mince their words.
'You were a booty call,' said Barntobebad, 'Sorry, but his friendship
with you isn't as strong as you think, nor is his attraction.'
Damaged Damsel said: 'it's more like he strings you along so that you will always be there when he is single. Move on.'
Another wrote: 'HE IS MIND******** YOU. He is NOT your friend. He is using you to gratify he is ego.'
Some called into question whether Paul really is the poster's friend after all.
User expressed a wish for the poster to avoid being messed around by Paul any longer
One user compared the story to the novel One Day by romance writer David Nicholls
Addywoot said: 'I don't really get the feeling he's even that good of a friend to you.'
Pretendingtobenormal write: 'This is not how I would treat my best friend.'
Isayfiesta encouraged the poster to focus on herself, instead of the state of her friendship with Paul.
'The cycle will repeat as much as you let it. Take the reins back and make an intentional effort to move on with your life, whether that is dating other people or doing something to explore or improve yourself.
'A little boost in self-esteem can go a long, long way,' they advised.
MrsValentine said: 'I don't believe based on his actions that he truly cares about you as a girlfriend OR a friend.
Look, you had sex - it happens, no big deal, and at least you know how things stand now. I'd look at closing this 10 year chapter if I were you. You've got more to look forward to than being messed around by this guy for another decade.
Suckmy**** said: 'This reminds me so much of the movie/book One Day. But much less nuanced.'
Let's just hope this final Reddit user's name isn't an omen.
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